Perfectionist

From SinglesStop.com
Direct Answers
Perfectionist
By Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell

I recently subscribed to an online dating service because of a special three month offer, but I'm not sure I'm ready for it. I may have jumped the gun and gotten way over my head. My hesitancy comes from not being where I want to be careerwise.

I am not an unintelligent person, but I did struggle in college. I found out last year, at age 39, that I have an attention deficit disorder. That explains a lot. I ended up putting college on hold and focused on building a computer business. It thrived in the early '90s, but I never found time to date. I was always "too busy."

Presently my business isn't doing well. Other companies have made parts of my business obsolete, and they can offer services at a lower rate or for free. I'm not sure if it's the right time to start dating. I have very little excess income and am still trying to work out how to return to college and finish my degree.

I fear coming across as a loser. I'm not exactly the hottest catch on paper, and it's too embarrassing to explain all this when someone asks. I know I'm getting a later start than most people my age, but I really do want a lifelong companion and kids.

Fitz

Fitz, your letter reminds us of the businessman who looked forward to the day when all his problems were solved and he would finally feel on top of his affairs. Then one day he realized that day would never come. We are always in the middle of something.

Give yourself some credit. You've defined the issues to work on. You are smart and industrious. You value education, and you want to finish something you began. Every day people marry who are drug addicts, alcoholics, unfaithful, and have no goals. We wished they weren't getting married, but they are.

You can't wait until you are a finished person before you start dating.

Wayne & Tamara

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.