What is sex without love. It's just sex. And sex on its own is not what real relationships are made of. When the hormones are raging clarity and self control go out the window and it's all over after that.

Danielle Seadia

We all have a desire for connection, for intimacy, and for love but when we use sex to control, to manipulate and to boost our egos our spirits suffer.

Learning to love ourselves and value ourselves is the real lesson because then and only then can we love others. And true love connections are worth the wait.

Many times we kid ourselves into believing it's love just for the sake of love, to be in love. But when we get the rude awakening that what we thought was love was nothing at all it crushes the self, the spirit and the soul.

Sometimes we use others for affection, sometimes we delude ourselves into thinking that the person we are with wants us for us but sometimes it's just a primal desire with nothing else to back it up.

Sometimes we fantasize about unavailable men or women. Thinking that one day they may want us. And how great that would be.

Reality check. It's the body talking not the brain.

When our bodies get fired up and the chemicals start doin' their thing it's important to stop, get a moment of clarity and really look at why we are doing what we are doing.

Is a booty call going to fill our need or is it going to set up the stage for addiction? Is being with a partner that's not good for us going to make us feel better or erode our feelings about ourselves? In life we all make choices we wish we could redo. In hindsight we often say "what were we thinking" but it's all part of the process of finding love. The journey of self love and the discovery of who we really are and what we really want in a partner is the end result. And although the journey may have its ups and downs, heart aches and heart breaks it's a journey we all choose to take because the reward is so great.



Danielle Seadia is a National Voiceover Talent and Dating Expert having fixed up thousands on singles nationwide on the "Hotline" radio dating show. Her voice is heard on radio and television commercials nationwide with clients like PerfectMatch.com, QVC, Cellular One, RaceTrac, and Shadow Tans to name just a few. She maintains a private coaching practice and leads a singles group weekly. In 2005 Danielle was nominated as one most eligible bachelorette's on the East Coast. Single by choice but open to meeting eligible bachelors, Danielle uses her real life dating experiences and the insights along the way to impart savvy dating advice. Her website is www.danielleseadia.com.

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